We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Randomize
