kristin has been a bad kristin
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Help. Why am I so naked?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize
