it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
