Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're breaking my sexual little heart
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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