We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
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