these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
