YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
