Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
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you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
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Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
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