He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
