i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
