You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
