So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize