I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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