That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
