Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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