I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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