I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
