your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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