CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Randomize
