This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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