it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
