Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
You're like the curious george of whores
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
