Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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