Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
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