I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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