I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
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