To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
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she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
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Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
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