I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
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