just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I supernannyed him into submission
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
