Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Randomize
