North Korea, Best Korea!
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
A bitchslap is in order.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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