Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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