sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
