I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
this is an emotional support booty call
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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