Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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