dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
