I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
