does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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