We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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