He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
