I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
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