i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
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Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
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THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks