watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
