This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
