I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OPIZZABONMYDICK
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I FOUND THE LEGS
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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