I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize