literally had 100 drinks last night.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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