That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize