Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Randomize
