why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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