and she was petting her beer can
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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