i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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