Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
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