Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
so much tequila, so little girl.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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