I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Is that strawberry winking at me??
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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