Your tits are I can't wait for
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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