So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
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