He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
