i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
