so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
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