White coat. Heels.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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